I am officially unofficially employed. For the remainder of the summer and throughout the fall/winter, I'll be babysitting my three younger siblings. This isn't as much babysitting as it is just hanging out with them and making sure they clean their rooms. I'm not complaining. Even getting six hours of sleep last night wasn't too bad...just kidding.
I was excited this morning because I woke up hungry! A good sign. My appetite has already returned in full force. I started the day with some warm water, combined with a few squeezes of fresh lemon juice. I hear this is good for digestion, and that it works as a sort of body cleanse. The drink reminded me of tea, though it was quite sour. I enjoyed it, though my teeth felt gritty afterwards.
For breakfast, I decided to employ my last English Muffin by making Ashley's Crispy French Muffin Toast! As usual, I had to make some adjustments.
Ingredients:
1 whole English Muffin (cut into halves)
1 tbs. ground flax meal + 3 tbs. warm water
2 tbs. unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. vanilla
1 egg white (instead of banana)
1/2 tbs. butter, for pan (instead of coconut oil)\
Instructions:
1. First, whisk together flax and water. Set aside.
2. Crack an egg and separate, pouring the egg white into a small bowl.
3. Add cinnamon, vanilla, and almond milk to the egg white, and stir.
4. Add the egg white mixture to the flax mixture, and combine thoroughly.
(You may need some help from a professional :)
5. Heat a skillet, and add half the amount of butter.
6. Generously coat each English Muffin half (both sides) in the batter.
7. Place the first coated muffin half in the skillet, and cook until golden brown on each side. Plate when ready.
8. Add the rest of the butter to the skillet, and repeat step 7.
9. Coat with toppings of choice! I chose almond butter and maple syrup!
Enjoy!
Last night, I had a slip. The first in thirty-one days. I was in a different environment, uncomfortable, and I had an entirely processed pantry in front of me. Not an excuse, just a shot at understanding.
Just two days ago, I entertained the thought that I would never return to my symptoms, that I felt so comfortable being symptom-free, so proud, so healthy, that symptom-use wasn't even an option. It simply wouldn't happen. It's almost as if these thoughts occur only to be proven wrong. Feeling as if I'm on such safe, sturdy ground, to have that same flooring crumble and collapse beneath me. I will move on, today was better, but even after several fully digested meals, I still felt weak throughout my entire body, unable to complete physical tasks because of the sheer effort they required. Even after a month of no symptom-use, I would stand up and black out for several moments, unsettling me and reminding me of the havoc I've wreaked on my body. It's things like these I didn't seem to notice before, when 80% of my days were spent in bed, and the other 20% was spent in a numbing war.
I notice so much more now. The pale, beautiful ringlets in my sister's hair, orange-red sunsets with traces of violet. I have so much more now. Concentration, self-confidence, and even extreme happiness, at times. I wouldn't trade these things for the world, much less a sick feeling of comfort that ultimately resolves in feelings of guilt, shame, and anger. I know I am moving forward. I know this isn't the end of the road. It's just a speed bump. I am better today, and I have only stepped backwards once.
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Is there anything better than celebrating a day free from your eating disorder and your one-year-one-month anniversary all in the same day? How about with an amazing man? How about with delicious food? (That you don't have to cook yourself, obviously).
After sitting, reading, computing, and walking around in blankets all day, Jay and I defied the rain by driving into town and grabbing dinner at Iron Hill. Usually after a slip, I play it extremely safe, and often end up underfed. Today, though, I was feeling the need for something delicious and sinfully rich. I remembered the Cheesesteak Egg Rolls.
Forgive me, but this is not a vegan post.
I had them on my mind when we settled on Iron Hill, and they were delivered at just the right time, as in right before the gnawing off your arm stage.
Served with ketchup and horseradish sauce, they are the definition of ooey-gooey goodness. Wrapped with melty cheese and a crispy exterior, the thin slices of steak are well worth a breach of my mostly-vegetarian diet. I would only hope that the next time, the horseradish would be spicier!
Next came the entrees.
To counteract the greasy goodness, and because it's absolutely delicious anyway, I ordered the Mesclun Greens salad. Comprised of greens, Granny Smith slices, dried cranberries, pistachios and White Vermont Cheddar, and topped with an orange-vanilla vinaigrette, this salad is an item I frequently order at Iron Hill.
Jay couldn't walk away without a burger, as usual. He ordered the Brewski Burger, just as he did several entries ago. Except this time, it didn't look as pretty. I forgot to take pictures until we'd both already dug in! And they also changed their lovely deep green side salad to a mess of romaine and hastily diced tomato. What can you do?
The meal was quite enjoyable, and I loved even more spending the day with my favorite, Bubbaloo. Every day can't be perfect, but those rare moments seem to get pretty close.
Yesterday, I made one of my favorite breakfasts, avocado toast! I placed mine on an english muffin, and enjoyed it with some coffee.
Avocado toast is an incredibly simple, and delicious recipe.
All you need is:
2 slices bread of your choice
1/2 ripe avocado, mashed
lemon juice, to taste
a few grinds of sea salt
red pepper flakes
I didn't put any specific measurements because I usually just wing it.
First, mash the avocado in a small bowl. Put your bread in the toaster. Then, add at least 1/2 tbs. lemon juice, or as much as you want. Add some sea salt and mix it into the avocado, so that it's evenly distributed throughout the mash. Once your toast pops, spread the avocado mixture evenly atop your slices of toast, and sprinkle red pepper flakes on the top! So simple!
I was so happy with my breakfast yesterday, and even happier with a trip to the mall, where I persuaded Kelly to buy me a pair of Calvin Klein flats. They were originally around $70, but we got them for $30 because they were on sale, and Kelly had a 20% off coupon! Such a steal! I was super excited because they were a cute pair of shoes that actually fit...and they weren't from Target. There's nothing wrong with Target, but for the last two years, the only shoes that I've been able to find that fit, have been from Target. It was nice to find my size in a different store for change.
They look a lot like this pair, but they're camel-colored and have pink accents. I think I'm in love!
As I mentioned in yesterday's post, I made my first ever quiche. I followed a Bon Appetit Recipe as adapted by Deb at Smitten Kitchen, and it turned out fabulously, even with some adjustments!
Ingredients:
1 prepared puff pastry sheet or pie crust
3 oz cream cheese, at room temperature
1 tbs. melted butter
1/3 cup plain Greek yogurt
3 eggs
5 oz frozen, chopped spinach, thawed and drained
1/2 c. fresh gruyere
1/4 c. shredded cheddar
1/2 c. finely diced yellow onion
1/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
Substitutions:
1. The original recipe calls for 1/3 c. half + half or milk. I had neither, so instead I melted 1 tbs. butter in a measuring cup, and added plain Greek yogurt until it reached the 1/3 c. line.
2. The original recipe calls for 10 oz. frozen spinach. I reduced that amount by half, because while I like spinach, I wanted to be able to taste the egg and cheese as well.
3. The original recipe calls for 1/2 c. shredded cheddar and 1/4 c. Parmesan, but since I had no Parmesean, I used gruyere and cheddar.
Instructions:
1. Preheat oven to 425°.
2. Make crust, or roll out puff pastry sheet on a floured surface. Place crust into a 9 in. pie dish. I had to take some of the dough that was hanging over the edges and use it to patch holes along the interior, smoothing it together with water.
2. Beat cream cheese in medium bowl until smooth.
3. Gradually beat in half and half (milk, or butter + Greek yogurt mixture) and eggs.
4. Grate cheese, if not already grated, and add to the mixture.
5. Add remaining ingredients, and stir until they are well-distributed throughout the bowl.
4. Pour mixture into prepared crust. Top with shredded cheese, your choice. I used cheddar.
5. Bake until crust is golden brown and filling is set, about 25 minutes. Cool 10 minutes.
6. Serve and enjoy!
Being that it was my first ever quiche, I was delightfully surprised. It had deep, rich flavors present in every bite, and I was happy with my alterations to the original version! I would definitely make this recipe again, granted we have all the ingredients and not just two types of cheddar! If you decide to make this, I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Welcome to my first What I Ate Wednesday!
Today, I finished the last of my homemade almond butter. I literally scraped the sides of the container with a knife, spoon, and then a spatula. It is a sad day.
Breakfast was delicious, even so. There was just enough almond butter left to cover my Food for Life English Muffin. I used to be a hardcore loyalist of the Thomas Original Nooks & Crannies, but since trying this sprouted brand, there's no turning back. Nineteen grains and seeds, no added sugar, no flour, and a moist, nutty taste? I was sold at the first bite.
After breakfast, I meandered a bit, read blogs, made the kids lunch, and found the perfect recipe for my lunch. I wanted to use spinach, and eggs, and a scramble seemed just too obvious. So I searched "spinach" on Smitten Kitchen. The results included one of my favorite foods, quiche! I don't like the dry, microwaved kind that you'll oftentimes get at some coffee shops, though to be honest, I've never had homemade quiche; it was the perfect opportunity. We had frozen spinach, eggs, cheese, and a few random frozen puff pastries. Destiny beckoned me to follow the light.
You see, it's very rare that I find all the ingredients for a new recipe in our kitchen. By "our," I mean my family, which includes my Dad, Kelly (stepmom), and my siblings, Megan, Ryan, Madison, and Kara. There's quite a few of us. My parents are very busy with jobs and three young kids, ages 11, 9, and 5. This leaves little to no time for them to cook, and its rare that we have a sit down dinner anymore.
Cooking, in my family, usually means microwaved Easy-Mac, chicken nuggets, and sometimes microwaved peas for the three young ones, and some sort of sandwich for my parents. My twin sister Megan and I usually fend for ourselves. I don't mind this set up, as it gives me the freedom to choose what I want for dinner and include important food groups such as vegetables, but I would love to teach to my younger siblings the importance and downright deliciousness of unadulterated, whole foods.
Mashed potatoes shouldn't come as "dehydrated potato flakes" in a box, nor should calorie-free "butter spray" be used to replace the real thing. Sure, real butter contains fat and salt, but when used in moderation, it helps your body absorb certain nutrients and it tastes much better than that plastic stuff. I'm not telling you to dip your fingers into the jar of butter like I did when I was three. I'm just saying that in moderation, it can be good for you.
I would love to cook nutritious meals for my family. Fruit and vegetables would be plentiful, and instead of Easy-Mac, we'd be eating whole grains, lean means and beans (or tofu if my entire family didn't think it was disgusting). And I swear, it would taste good. I enjoy yummy, nutrient-dense food, and throughout the past six months, I have learned the value of cooking for yourself and others. (Thank you, bubbaloo, for allowing me to make you blueberry pancakes three weeks in a row). There is no replacement for handed-down recipes or the time it takes to cook a nutritious meal. There is so much more value in putting forth effort in how you cook and what you eat, than any boxed item can replicate.
My cousin Allison brought some friends to my Grandmother's house for dinner recently, and they couldn't believe that she made real mashed potatoes and homemade strawberry pie. It shouldn't be like this. We shouldn't constantly choose convenience over health. It isn't fair to future generations, and more importantly, it isn't fair to ourselves.
I am now stepping down from my soap box.
Back to the quiche. I followed a Martha Steward recipe, as listed on Smitten Kitchen. It didn't take long to make, and the results were divine. I'll have a recipe and more pictures up tomorrow. As I waited for the quiche to bake, I chopped up a carrot and mixed equal parts hummus and balsamic vinaigrette. I think that if I continue to eat carrots like I have been, I'm going to turn into one.
Delicious!
After lunch, I went for a walk to take a much needed break from the computer, and to clear my head. I find walks very relaxing and wholesome. I always feel like I'm doing something good for my mind, body, soul when I walk.
While I walked, I listened to The Avett Brothers, and they reminded me why I love music so much. I'd write more on that, but this post is getting long-winded already.
By the time I got home, it was around 4:15, and I made a quick run to Trader Joe's to pick up some ingredients for tonight's dinner; burrito bowls!
Of course, I couldn't just settle on guacamole...
Twenty-two dollars later, I rushed home to start prepping dinner, but I was ravenous. So I opened the guac, and paired it with some multigrain chips for a quick snack.
For dinner, I started with boiling the rice, and finished with the help of my wonderful Bubbaloo.
Lettuce, rice, and beans, topped with cheese, sauteed veggies, and Trader Joe's Spicy Pico de Gallo Guacamole, which was totally worth the splurge! (I realized, when I got to Trader Joe's, that the avocado I bought wouldn't be ripe in time for dinner :p)
The bowls were delicious, and surprisingly filling! Of course, Jay and my Dad both could've eaten another helping or two; I, on the other hand, struggled with feeling full for the next hour. Jay reminded me that it wasn't the end of the world, that eventually I would feel fine, and eventually...well, I did. During that hour though, I think my biggest fear was that I'd be full forever, that I'd let the discomfort and the urge to purge get the best of me, that I'd start the awful cycle again. Thirty days, yes, but with a lifetime to go. I wouldn't have made it this far without the support of friends, family, and my biggest support, Bubbaloo.
After making him sit through the latest episode of The Big C, at around 10p.m., he went home. Megan decided it was a good idea to watch most recent True Blood, and through the middle of the show, I was hungry again!
I chose a plain Chobani with a drizzle of honey and some dried cherries.
My first What I Ate Wednesday was quite a bit of work! I took over one-hundred pictures, and had to change my camera batteries! The results were worth it, though; a picturesque, thought-filled day in my life through food!
